An Introduction

Time: Early afternoon, the start of summer vacation
Place: Reference desk, an academic library

Spotlight on two young and fashionable reference librarians on desk duty (looking slightly bored): Ms. Wet and Ms. Dangerous.

Ms. Dangerous scans the library for eye candy, but sadly all the good-looking graduate students are on vacation. Ms. Wet browses Craigslist.

"OOO!" gasps Ms. Wet.
"Beautiful?" asks Ms. Dangerous, scanning the library for overlooked sex appeal.
"No! Swim lessons!"
"I don't know how to swim!" exclaims Ms. Dangerous.
"I don't either!" cries Ms. Wet. "Oh my gosh! They're here on campus!"
"You're f*in' kidding me!" squeals Ms. Dangerous.

Some wily email negotiations later, Ms. Wet informs Ms. Dangerous that they can indeed share private swim lessons in the campus pool, at half the cost.

First step: Acquiring Swimwear.

Ms. Wet: In further proof of smart shopping, Ms. Wet purchased a one-piece at the end of last season, a classic black maillot with slimming details. She considers the bathing suit "respectable," and in her practical i-hate-shopping fashion, she figures it is good enough.

Ms. Dangerous: Ms. Dangerous decides to measure herself and purchase vintage swimwear off of ebay. In Ms. Dangerous's viewpoint, vintage swimwear has several advantages, including built-in girdles, full-bottom coverage, lower leg openings, and the ability to maximize upper-body attributes while minimizing lower-body cellulite. Plus, she can avoid the fat-lady skirted swimsuit. Possible downside: bullet bras.