Lesson Two.

Ms. Dangerous and Ms. Wet meet at the library and trudge to the pool. Cell phone in hand, Ms. Wet wishes she had cancelled. Unfortunately, her swimsuit does not have a pocket to hold the instructor’s contact information. Ms. Wet plans to learn to embroider A.S.A.P.

The locker room is negotiated and the two reluctant women report to the pool. As Ms. Wet passes the deep end, she panics and fears she will never learn to swim.

While the pool area is hot and humid. Appendage by appendage, our heroines slowly submerge into the icy water at the shallow end. Their legs go numb. The instructor makes a crude joke about the temperature, and Ms. Dangerous can’t help but think it refers to her swimsuit.

The lesson begins.

Once again treading eludes our heroines. Fast or slow, scissor kick or running man, they tread and they sink. The instructor admits she was confused by the treading instructions she found online, and she offers no further advice. She sees Ms. Wet and Ms. Dangerous exchange a look and encouragingly informs them that the swim team treads water while holding 15 lb weights above their heads.

Ms. Dangerous and Ms. Wet tackle the freestyle. Finally, something they do in the water takes on a natural rhythm. They bend elbows and circle arms, skimming fingers across the surface of the water. They twist with every reach, flutter kicking behind.

The hardest part is the breath. They struggle to turn heads to the side without gasping, keeping an ear in the water as a guide. Breathing disrupts their rhythm so much that the instructor remarks, “I can go back and forth the length of the pool and only breathe once!”

“Well good for you,” mutters Ms. Dangerous, “It probably helps that you’re shaped like a kayak.”

Mercifully, the half hour passes quickly and Ms. Wet and Ms. Dangerous find themselves back in the locker room struggling to return to their usual glamour. It’s worth the effort.